I just fixed a cup of coffee and I am now hiding in my room. Hoping I won't be discovered for a half hour.
( I was just discovered. Stink. That lasted 2 minutes. Lil, but I sent her on...)
I am one that adores quiet alone time. That I rarely get. The other day I hid in the bathroom and the first 5 minutes I had 3 children and a husband find me. Job security I guess. ;)
Once upon a time I didn't like moms complaining and constantly talking about 'me time'. I think I was only harsh. But at the same time I think it is often abused. Hard to find the balance. I used to get my quiet time at nap time. Then also at bedtime. Not anymore. Not all my children are napers now. And I go to bed before or at the same time as a couple of my children now. Being more introverted it wore on me hard. I found myself getting grumpy easier. Tuning them out more. That isn't a great way to be a mom.
Guilt played a large role. I didn't want to have the attitude of wanting to get away from my blessings. I let it eat at me. Memories of moms sitting around the table at MOPS complaining about their husbands and children. If I even thought a couple of minutes alone sounded good, I decided that I was one of 'them'. (Interrupted again, this time Rhyyan)
But really is needing a little quiet bad? I don't think so. Jesus even had to get away to pray and prepare his heart. So I am trying hard not to feel guilty to take a few minutes alone. Relaxing. Praying. Reading. Anything.
The other day we needed to both drive a car. So I rode alone. Windows down. Music up loud. It felt so good. I didn't even know I needed it so bad. (Rhyyan again...)
So (rhyyan again) now I lost my thought...
Oh! I talked to Patrick about it all. And my guilt. Guilt. That is not a good word. At least not unnecessary guilt. He understood. And helped me realize it was not a bad thing to take a few minutes.
I am just a person that craves quiet alone. And I need it to fill myself with strength and peace to continue on.
Ahhhh....
1 comment:
My teens know when I'm stressed and they are old enough to realize that's not in their best interest. They know my favorite songs and quietly slip out and get their music machines and put on my songs. I laugh every time. Kids have us adults figured out.
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