Joe, Goldie and Porker...

Two weeks old! And so huge! We love them so much! 

Lilley

Walking around the yard talking to my girl. 

She is so funny. Full of laughter and smiles.

She is my intense child. Everything for her is 100%. Always. 

So when she is happy ( almost always) she is really happy!

Her new passion is potholder looms. I just ordered her some loopers... Lots. 

She should be busy for a while...

She is with child...

This is Bonnie...

She is expecting again... But has never had a litter survive. Such is the life of a farm animal...her and Clyde are our longest surviving cats... I kinda like them as far as cats go. But I have threatened to get rid of Clyde a few times. He likes to get underfoot at times... Overall decent cats. They earn their keep at let.

Astride puppies week one.

  This day I only got close ups of porker. He is white. And massive. Goldie is not white. ;) both are available soon. Sorry to my children... We are not keeping them. And they both might have homes... Yeah!

March 23rd 2014

See this precious girly? Oh I love her. This is my niece. Baby E. :)

I realized on the way to church on Sunday that it was march 23rd. Eleven years after our first miscarriage. This sweet baby above has the same name. On the way to church I realized that I could hold a baby with her name on the anniversary of her birth. :) I was so glad to hug her that day. To smell her head. To kiss her. To squish her. 

   Our girl ( I am not sharing her first name just so you don't know the baby aboves) E. Joy was our first loss. I never would have thought pain goes on this long. Not huge. Not daily. But still there. 

   Holding her Sunday was balm to my soul. She is a great snuggler. It was hard the first hearing of her name. Only cause I was surprised. It wasn't a common name. But it is such a blessing to have her share the name. And I wasn't expecting to feel so much healing on Sunday. 

   Our God is greater. 

Mine whooey.

Ahhhh.... Mine whooey in her puppy shirt.

  I just fixed a cup of coffee and I am now hiding in my room. Hoping I won't be discovered for a half hour. 

   ( I was just discovered. Stink. That lasted 2 minutes. Lil, but I sent her on...)

  I am one that adores quiet alone time. That I rarely get. The other day I hid in the bathroom and the first 5 minutes I had 3 children and a husband find me. Job security I guess. ;)

   Once upon a time I didn't like moms complaining and constantly talking about 'me time'. I think I was only harsh. But at the same time I think it is often abused. Hard to find the balance. I used to get my quiet time at nap time. Then also at bedtime. Not anymore. Not all my children are napers now. And I go to bed before or at the same time as a couple of my children now. Being more introverted it wore on me hard. I found myself getting grumpy easier. Tuning them out more. That isn't a great way to be a mom. 

   Guilt played a large role. I didn't want to have the attitude of wanting to get away from my blessings. I let it eat at me. Memories of moms sitting around the table at MOPS complaining about their husbands and children.  If I even thought a couple of minutes alone sounded good, I decided that I was one of 'them'. (Interrupted again, this time Rhyyan) 

     But really is needing a little quiet bad? I don't think so. Jesus even had to get away to pray and prepare his heart. So I am trying hard not to feel guilty to take a few minutes alone. Relaxing. Praying. Reading. Anything. 

    The other day we needed to both drive a car. So I rode alone. Windows down. Music up loud. It felt so good. I didn't even know I needed it so bad. (Rhyyan again...) 

    So (rhyyan again) now I lost my thought...

   Oh! I talked to Patrick about it all. And my guilt. Guilt. That is not a good word. At least not unnecessary guilt. He understood. And helped me realize it was not a bad thing to take a few minutes. 

       I am just a person that craves quiet alone. And I need it to fill myself with strength and peace to continue on.

  Ahhhh....

Lookalike

See any resemblance with him and someone in my house? 

 I see it so strongly. Wondering if I am the only one...