I love these girls.

Spinning... Rambling...

Met a lady online the other day. She has 8 children. And spins. She mentioned that spinning is 'about the bestest and funnest form of meditation I can think of'. 

    I love spinning. Alot. My wheel was a gift from my mom. A year or so ago. I'm not great at it. But I'm decent. I can produce yarn that I love. If I had known how much I'd like spinning I would have bought a wheel 15 years ago when I kinda wanted to. 

    I hadn't spun in a few mths. And last I had it was warm and sunny out so I always took it outside. Coming inside now I felt rusty. And my chair-- I tried a few-- was too high. Uncomfortable. It took me forever to find my groove. To start getting anywhere with it. It was annoying and frustrating. But I got there. And I also looked online for spinning stools. ;) hope to find or order something soon. 

    But I thought of her words. And knew just how right she was. I often think I have to get something done or it is just play. Then I feel guilty for 'wasting my time'. So spinning, sewing or the like is my kinda thing. But my sewing machine keeps children awake when they are ready to nap in the afternoon. Or at bedtime. So I avoid it during those times. Then regret doing that too. So getting out my wheel was perfect. I had also put it away for a while due to shoulder pain. But mostly that is better now. 

    It amazes me all the thoughts that go through my head when spinning. It is nearly a silent hobby. Leaves so much room for thought. I love that. 

   Also oddly like sewing I have to do it with one shoe off and one shoe on. No idea why. But I can't seem to focus otherwise. Weird. 

    My thoughts were everywhere. I thought about all my children. And where they are in life. What things they each needed prayer for. Plans The Lord has for them. And fun things I need to make time for with them. 

   I thought of wise sayings that depending on who says them and in what context they are said in can be really foolish. But we hear the words and think wow so wise. And propel them further down the wrong way with our encouragement. It is sad.  A example might be 'getting rid of things that hurt me is so freeing' which can be wonderful. Or horrible. It might mean leaving behind alcohol.  Or it might mean abandoning a child or killing someone. Context is huge.  And often times we need to read into things a little to understand them.  Or ask the person what 'they' meant by what they said. 

    I thought of hurts I have caused. And hurts I felt. And i thought of what I could have and often should have done. I thought how it hurts to have thought you were friends with someone. And they just walk away. Never saying a word. You just hear from someone else they are done with you. And you rack your brain and heart to know why. But in the end just leave it alone. And hope one day they want to rekindle a friendship. And pray your heart is still open to it. And leave it to The Lord to heal it. And try not to wonder about it too much. 

    The feeling I have when I spin is so reflective. Internal. And deep. It is healing. Comforting and joyful. 

  I have struggled the past few mths being content in parts of my life. I like being home. I rarely want to leave. But I crave quiet times. I miss my cow,Jocelyn. She was a great quiet time for me. Twice a day. I  laid my head against her. And milked. I needed that quiet time. Just me alone with her. About 40 minutes a day. It was so hard to dry her off this year. Cause everything I said about spinning I could easily say about my time with Jocelyn. And more. 

   And now she is gone. I don't have my quiet reflecting times each day. I need alone. And I feel guilty trying to find a way to get it. I 'had' to milk her. We had no choice. It was a need on several levels. No other task was like that. I said before I felt lost coming back in the house after she died and I had spent the better part of two weeks outside with her. I dint like coming back in the house. I DIdNT know what to do with myself. So I worked on changing over the house and moved on. But it was hard not having a good outlet for my thoughts. I needed something. Badly. My head was hurting. 

    I have found myself online too much the past while. About since I dried her off. And I hate that. It always leaves me empty and wanting more. I think maybe. Maybe I can find spinning to be just what I need to take the place of my girl. In the quiet time area. People drain me. I need a recharge. And this. This just might help. I felt so much better after spinning today. <3

Gluten free baker

Lil has to eat gf. She has taken it on herself to bake her own recipes. She is a dump baker. Whatever sounds like a good idea. She does well. These were plain muffins for chili. :)

This is the way he fell asleep.

Isn't it adorable. 

This guy is great!  He played hard today. Nap was needed. :)

Shifting

For many years I've wanted to figure out how to do this parenting thing. And be a good housekeeper. I couldn't figure out a balance of chores and play and school. It was not fun or easy. It wasn't working. I did fine with 2,3,4 children. Then my pregnancy and nursing with Malachi changed everything. It was rough. Really rough. We either had a clean house or a really messy one that was craft littered. Neither worked for us. Both were stressful. 

   But the last mth we have had a clean house and lots of fun. Many crafts and school. And mostly fun. We have a system. It is really working. Even though I had 6 sick children since Friday afternoon. My house is still mostly picked up. We have a load of dishes to do. And the girls room needs a little work. But it is really not messy. And I'd not be embarrassed at all to have any company. ( but wait a few days.. We are not yet fully healthy after this bug. It was a rough one. But if you are really brave. Or maybe stupid come on over. I'll give you some chicken soup. And pray you don't get sick. ;) )

    The children argue less. And create more. They get jobs done faster. I am not totally sure what all changed things. But our house is flowing. I am focusing on art more. And the children do so well cleaning up afterwards. 

    Right now 5 children are making items from a great baking clay Joelle made. I'll post a recipe later. It is really nice. Bakes up hard and doesn't crumble at all. Not sticky to work with. We are loving it. And one is painting handmade cards with a watercolor set. 

     Time is more available. We all have plenty of time to follow our interests. And can keep up on the house. Except for mopping. I'm bad at that... Just don't look down please. ;)

Tonight

Tonight the diffuser has thieves in it. 

Tonight we all feel terrible. 

Tonight everyone has an empty bowl. 

Tonight I pray we get better sleep. 

Tonight I pray for healing. 

Tonight I hope for empty bowls. 

Tonight I'm glad it isn't worse than it is. 

Tonight I am thankful for our Lord Jesus. 

Latest quilt project.

I was waiting to post this til they received it. And I am pretty sure they have. 

Joelle,Rhyyan and Lilley helped me make this. It was fun until blocks vanished... And time seemed to be running away from me. But we pushed thru. Made replacement blocks. And finished with time to spare. 

    Rome is a friends son. He is 6. And is going in for a surgery November 12th. I can't imagine my 6 year old facing this. We are praying so hard for them. This quilt has a few of his favorite things on it. The Forrest, ocean ( I really wish the first ocean block hadn't disappeared, Joelle had done fish, jellyfish, seaweed and more. If we ever find it we plan to send it to him as a pillow) bunnys, and we included what we hope looks like Romneya poppies. A white California poppy he was named after. And part way thru we realized we could do 6 of things for his age. 

   It was fun. I like doing projects with the children. You lose ability to have things 'just right' but you gain quality time and they gain great learning in sewing etc. soooo worth it. I'm thankful. And I think it turned out ok. We like it. 

    That was the 5th quilt we had a part or a whole in, in the last 2 mths. So we have moved on to other things. We are currently done with quilts. I think. ;) currently knitting has taken my interest as well as Rhyyans. Her a scarf and me a hat. I just finished one. Third way thru a second. And then I have one more that I am hoping to do before I lose interest. I'm good at that. ;)

Painting

We are low on paints right now. So I let them make one color at a time. 

They started out making nice designs. 

And quickly it became a goal to cover the board. They had so much fun! 

And today the board is dry. So they can paint the other side or paint over this. Yeah! Reusing craft mediums! My fav!

Yesterday

Yesterday was full of crafting. And laundry... But ignore that. Crafting. It is fun. Laundry isn't. But it is nearly caught up! Above Rhyyan was starting a paper mâché piñata. She loves making these. This one will be used when friends come at the end of the month. The girls have grand plans when they get here. They are some of our dearest friends. 

Cards and coloring the pumpkin. Boys joined in. But I guess I missed their picture doing it. Oops

Lil has a story to go with each picture she makes. That is my favorite part. :)

Begging?

And here they wait for treats.... I haven't figured out how to deny them yet...