Hard time...

I am having a hard time dealing with my girl being gone. I finally went to the pasture to get the buckets and supplies we had left out there yesterday. And cuddled with Fawn while I was there. 

   My family doesn't drink any other milk. We use other dairy things like sour cream and cream cheese. But as far as milk... That is gone. And fawn is 18 months out. Provided she carries her moms great milk. :) I hope and pray. 

   I have always had a fear of losing Jocelyn.  It was irrational. And uncalled for for a long time. We had been planning a vacation. But I backed out. Scared to leave her. And at the time she was in great health. No need to worry. But I hated to leave her in someone else's care. She was my girl. 

   Now I am checking on fawn. Too much likely. I am scared to have another cow in milk and pregnancy. But I am also terrified to not have good raw milk for our family. So hopefully we have a great option in a bull when the time comes. 

    We fed her great feed. Almost 100% free of GMOs. Great minerals. Treats. She loved watermelon and oranges. <3 

    Yestday I got up and saw the clock. I had a little panic of 'junk! I need to get out to the pasture before church!' Then the big bummer of 'never mind, what was I thinking'. 

   She is gone. My girl is gone. Never to have again. And I cry often. Over a cow. Not any cow. My cow. My friend. Hard times stink. No milk stinks. :( 

    Now to figure out Fawns favorite treats. I have her halter broke. But want to train her to go on walks with me. And I have started to brush her and touch her udder. I want her to be as great as her mother. And she has great potential. 

   Chester was sold to my Pastor on Friday. And he said on Sunday when we saw him that his nurse cow took him instantly. So he has a new momma. And gets real milk. :) I am so thankful!